High-Protein Raw Vegan ... with help from Kevin James

I've been working hard putting together a high-protein raw vegan bodybuilding diet for myself and other athletes who want the benefits of eating raw but have protein and energy needs that go beyond that of the average person. The challenge is getting enough protein from sprouts, rice and peas, plus enough carbs that are not fruit sugars. Also, timing of meals and speed of digestion is important: spreading fast- and slow-burning carbs and protein through the day in a way that will prepare me for training and maximize recovery and growth afterward. It's a pile of math, but with Excel templates, the USDA Nutrient Database and other tools, I have a trial version of the diet up and running.

Then, today, I got a remarkable surprise via FedEx from my friend Kevin James Miniter. Kevin is working on the campaign for gay GOP candidate Fred Karger for President. You may know Kevin as the guy in the infamous Marcus Bachmann "Who's gayer?" picture that's circulated around Facebook, Twitter and the blogosphere recently.

Kevin knows how much I love fresh blueberries. So he and his friend, Navy Lt. Marla Jo Metz, ventured out and picked seven pounds of giant, ripe, sweet and tart Maine blueberries and shipped them here. (Apparently, he spent several hours away from his duties on the Karger campaign last weekend romping around at a farm in rural Maine.)

I can't think of a better way to kick off the new diet than with these delicious superfood snacks. One additional thing you should know about blueberries -- they freeze well, and once frozen make excellent weapons for beaning unsuspecting pets. (Sure, the pet gets hit and startled, but then they have a little snack morsel as compensation for the insult they've just endured.) Not that I've done this. I'm just speculating.

So a GIANT thank you to Kevin for the timely, heartfelt gift. And to everyone else, wish me luck with the diet!

A final note: Kevin packaged up the blueberries carefully for shipment, padding the FedEx box with a copy of the New Hampshire Sunday News.

To show my appreciation for the gift of berries, I have taken it upon myself to read that entire newspaper, memorizing the more significant passages, which I will recite in a plaintive, sing-song tone for Kevin when I next see him in person.